Apr 22 2020

nothing time

justin scawful • 22 april 2020

this quarantine is really proving to me that i have more time than i ever realized. i've been on and off about waking up really early. like go on a walk to see the sunrise early. i find that when i get up at this time i'm the most productive throughout the day and feel satisfied with the time spent. it's gotten to the point where if i sleep in til nine i get kind of cranky with myself. crazy to think i used to sleep until noon or later. now i see other people with broken sleep schedules and i wish i could bestow upon them the ability to just wake up. it's not even like it's something i've always possessed i just developed it over time with meditation and discipline. i realize how awfully pretentious it comes across when writing it down but it's my truth.

i've been practicing the piano a lot the past few days as well. when i wake up in the morning i try to start off practicing the songs i've learned mechanically just to keep up the muscle consistency. later on in the day i'll do more music theory and reading sheet music so that it's a more ingrained learning than just repeating notes i remember. it's all been zelda songs and other simple exercise songs from a piano book nicole gave me. it's nice because they are all simple, i know the melodies, and it makes me happy to hear myself playing them. it's given me a lot of motivation seeing myself progress even if it's small. i've always been a fast learner so i think if i really dedicate myself to this consistently i'll be able to get it down really well.

stimulus check

justin scawful • 17 april 2020

well, i lucked out. i told my dad not to claim me as a dependent on my taxes back in early march so i could get the pell grant before covid-19 hit the fan and it ended up already working out for me. i received a $1200 direct deposit from the irs under the cares act. despite the fact that i'm still working i still got some of that economic stimulus. first thing i did with it was put half of it in my savings account. then, i spent $200 on logic pro x so i wasnt using the glitchy pirated version anymore. now for the other $400 i plan on investing that money into some stocks that are doing poorly in light of all the guidelines affecting businesses like entertainment that rely on these large social gatherings (concerts, amusement parks, etc). although i also wanna find some sensible things to invest in for the long term as well.

i've been enjoying using logic pro x a lot though. the performance on the pirated version was just really bad and it would freeze often which discouraged me from working on large projects in fear of losing progress. so now that i've got it i've been experimenting with it the last few days. i bought a keyboard stand off of sweetwater for my casio lk-230 midi keyboard and have had it next to my desk to make it easy to play melodies into the daw. nothing like investing some money that'll really motivate you to learn. i was studying music theory at like 6 am yesterday and practicing playing c major chords and different inversions of them. from what i understand the build in synths like alchemy are well fitted for like anything you could need when you're starting out so i don't need to experiment with other plugins until i get a good feel for song composition and writing my own music.

easter sunday

justin scawful • 12 april 2020

well, today is the day. i'm honestly not a big fan of easter. given that i have no stock in the christian faith it's nothing more than another capitalist holiday with a confusing theme. i haven't really enjoyed the egg bunny day shit in animal crossing, the aesthetic is not for me. seeing people post about jesus and god is also pretty nauseating. i'm just glad i don't have work today. i drank a couple modelos last night and somehow managed to wake up around 6 am, walk my dog, eat breakfast, start laundry, and only after that did my hangover headache kick in. i had to take a nap for a few hours to recover and i'm stil feeling a little discombobulated, but i am feeling better.

i've been enjoying my time at home if i'm being honest. obviously it's more comforting not having to go to school during a pandemic and i'm adjusting relatively well to doing my school work online. i'm not thrilled about the speech but i've managed to come around a bit on the biology work. i've been motivating myself to get it done and actually reading the resources provided to me for the class. i was doing some homework last night while drinking and i made a small mistake that i only realized afterwards with the translation of the dna but otherwise it's been smooth and i get everything right.


justin scawful • 6 april 2020

i have been very sore the last few days. despite the stay in home order i've still taken it upon myself to go out and do some real skateboarding since i have all this extra time without school. obviously, i make sure to stay away from groups of people when i go outside. it's been a lot of fun seeing myself improve lately and become more consistent. i posted a short compilation clip on twitter of some tricks i was doing on the 2nd, and i'm really happy with how everything looks. i still have some more raw footage from late march to go through but mainly i've been really improving my kickflips, varial kickflips, and i've finally landed a fakie three shuv which is new for me and am excited to addd it to my bag of tricks. i also did a couple heelflips for the first time in probably two years, not sure why i stopped doing those as often they're relatively simple.

since i've gotten my inhaler its made skating a lot more manageable on my body. i try not to overuse it but even after two puffs i'll sometimes find myself getting choked up again and will maybe go for a third. i'm trying to use my gopro more often when i skate, despite feeling a little insecure about having the camera on my head. before i felt like i wasn't as good at skateboarding to justify a camera on me, but now i feel confident enough in the tricks i'm trying to do that i should use the technology i have to capture it. plus, nobody is looking or cares at all. i made a point to wear it and keep recording on my skate home from the spot i chose as to expose myself to others in their cars or potentially walking to me with it on my head, plus my big ass headphones i was wearing so that i could just adapt to that feeling of being seen by others in an unnatural state. i think it's a helpful thing for my anxiety to be exposed to that.